December 2011
120 posts
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November 2011
24 posts
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BFF Lindsey: I want to have Idina Menzel's babies.
Me: Ok you have her babies and I will have the hot dirty sex with her. Good deal!!
BFF Lindsey: Babies require sex!
Me: Lesbian babies don't. Have fun with that artificial insemination!
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On the 1.5 mile walk to work this morning my nose started running. Being that I had no tissues and that I just didn’t give a fuck, I used my hand to wipe it off my face. Surprise! It wasn’t snot, it was blood. So I walked the rest of the way to work pinching my nose closed and soaking my sweater with blood. Good thing I work in a hospital since I walked in the doors looking like a...
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I know some things should just stay broken, I’m well aware this should remain...
– So Soon, Marianas Trench (Ever After)
Standing up for myself and letting things just blow over makes me feel a lot better than crying does. And sometimes faking a smile and acting like everything is fine leads things to actually being fine.
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Q. Who's your favorite serial killer?
A. The great influenza pandemic of the early 1900’s. Killing an estimated 50 to 100 million people in less than 6 months. You wanna be scared of some Dahmer or Gacy type you go right ahead. Me? I’m worried about the next big flu outbreak. And, if we really are going out as a species in 2012, I’m putting my money on a big ol’ bitch of a pandemic being the reason.
ETA: And I...
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My asshole cat won’t quit walking on my keyboard and rubbing up against my screen. And I tell her to knock it off and put her on the ground and she meows at me like she’s mad about it. Listen here you little bitch, I am 30x bigger than you and you will not use that tone of voice with me. You keep your tiny little paws away from my computer before I ‘accidently’ lock you in...
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What are your thoughts on Truvia vs. sugar?
Truvia commercials drive me fucking crazy so I hate Truvia.
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Giving myself a bit of a challenge.
hellooblivion:
What is your favourite Stephen King novel? Let me know and maybe I’ll make some art about it.
I have a special place in my heart for The Tommyknockers.
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